Growing up, my parents daily fought off ninjas with machetes (as the nature of our Seattle neighborhood required), this embiggened my physical nature.
I began the study of marshal arts at the age of 4 and a half weeks. I remain spiritually guided and hands of god threatening with the arts of
muay Thai and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu as well as the deadly art of Russian Rhino Wrestling.
After I graduated kindergarten (with honors!) I went on to a semi successful career in show business.
At the tender age of 7 I was cast as a regular as one of the 'Happy Bunny, Bunny Bears' on Canadian television, or as they call it, the amazing glowing box.
I suffered through years of toil and embarrassment; no one could believe Canada had a television.
But I fought through. I learned that people aren’t always what they seem and that show business is not for me.
The next years shaped my life. I was kicked off the show for partying too much and showing up drunk.
I was always in a bar or some club getting crazy. I remember this one time, I was prolly 9 or 10 and I got wasted on a plane on the way to East Bear Island,
I got into it with a flight attendant, she thought I was drinking far too much for my age, I was like "nah" and kept sipping from the bottle of Absinthe I'd bought
at the duty free shop. My celebrity was so great that I was never carded, and when they would I would say it was a gift for someone.
The flight attendant didn't like my attitude and tried to put me on punishment. This caused a huge ruckus, my fans were yelling about how I was so amazing and that
I should be aloud to do whatever I wish, also stating that I'd contributed more to society than she had, what with my appearances a malls and restaurant openings.
Long story short the plane ride resulted in my first sexual experience. When we landed there was huge a fanfare in the middle of the runway
we had to land somewhat late on the tarmac; a hail of gunfire was reigning upon us (some people in Canada sincerely hated me)
My security detail and I rushed from the plane to my bulletproof limo. I was a close call, but alls well that ends well.
Years later I began a relationship with a girl from my Karate class she helped me straighten out my life. Got me off the dope and the alcohol,
she introduced me to meditation and inner peace. I got my life together and went to back to school. (I since have gained a PhD in Physics and a PhD in
African Lumbar Disjointment Treatment, or ALDT) After 4 years and endless memories we ended our relationship when she thought that my success
was more than should could handle. She thought that I deserved so much more than she could ever give me. It was totally true, looking back, I
think she may have been fishing for a compliment, whoops on her part! am I right?
Anyway, I've grown up put the past behind me started this here website, I hope you enjoy it.
Here I am with my cousin, she's more of a pirate than I, what with the one eye.